3D Movies

Now, it's not that I hate 3D movies, per se.

Avatar was really cool and 3D and 4D movies at theme parks are incredible.

But now days you can't walk into a movie theater without at least two movies being in 3D. And it's getting a little ridiculous.

Animated movies in 3D? Sure, yeah, whatever. Those are fun.

Action/Adventure movies in 3D? That's bad enough.

But now they're doing dramas in 3D.

Titanic is coming back to theaters in 3-D for the special 100th anniversary of the sinking ship. So now we can see a pencil drawing of a naked woman and a man hitting a ship propeller like they're right in our room!

Think that's bad enough?

Well, it isn't.

The king of all bad 3D movies has to be the upcoming Great Gatsby film.

Because when is it ever necessary for a tragic literary classic written by an alcoholic to be in 3D?

I mean, I guess the producers thought that 1920s jazz parties, low-speed car races, and a drunken, cheating woman wandering out in the road and getting hit by a car constitute reason to throw on some large, black-rimmed glasses.

But guess what?

They don't.

And what's up with 3D sequels? I love the Harry Potter series, probably more than any other in the history of literature/cinema. But 7 movies in 2D and one in 3D? You know what I call that? A marketing ploy. A good one, seeing as how the 3D glasses were Harry Potter ones, but a marketing ploy nonetheless.

And Transformers: Dark of the Moon in 3D? I won't even make mention of how they're trying to sound like a Pink Floyd album. But aren't the Transformer movies seizure-inducing and obnoxious enough in 2D? I don't think mighty morphing machines need to be popping out at the audience on top of it all.

And, whoa, back up! Star Wars: Episode I is coming to theaters again? And it's in 3D? Mr. Lucas, what makes you think this was a good idea? There is no nerd in the world that I've talked to who liked this film to begin with. And you're going to bring it back? And make people pay twice as much to see it?

Bad move.

Anyway, long story short, 3D needs to stop. Unless it's at a theme park and there's water coming out of the seats and you can smell pastries cooking.

But everybody's done paying a million extra dollars to see one scene in 3D (I'm talking to you, Alice in Wonderland). So, please, let's go back to the time of old and just have some good, quality, 2D movies in theaters. Because I can't help but think people have resorted to writing awful stories and sticking a 3D tag on them just to draw people in.