Brownies

Yes, ma'am, you heard right. I hate brownies.

I normally say I hate chocolate, but that's not completely true. I love hot chocolate and chocolate milk and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and a few other select chocolaty treats, including Swiss chocolate! Yum!

Just not brownies.

I can't even stand the smell of them baking. It just smells so thick and chocolaty and I feel like, just from smelling it, the chocolate is going to sneak into your nostrils and harden into gooey treats right inside your nose.

Brownies are like heaven to some people. Most people, in fact. But not me. I want to like them, I really do, because they look delicious. But then I try them, and I realize they're not good at all. And I'm sorry if there's someone out there who makes the "best brownies ever." I'm sure they're scrumptious. Just keep them away from me.

What really grosses me out is when people eat, like, a brownie with chocolate ice cream on top, and hot fudge on top of that, and some chocolate chips thrown on. I just want to give them a glass of water. Or an insulin shot.

Just one bite of a brownie leaves that pure squishy chocolate taste inside my mouth and turn my spit brown and thick. So that's why I, personally, say 'no' to brownies.

Are you happy, world? More brownies for you.