Umbrellas

In honor of this rainy day, I will officially say that I hate umbrellas. There you go. It's down in writing. Virtual writing, even! This stuff doesn't go away!

Yes, umbrellas can be great. I mean, they come in some pretty awesome color schemes and patterns. And then there's the whole part about them keeping you dry in the pouring rain.

But even so, I hate them.

And here's why: because in these parts, it's windy. Super windy. RIDICULOUSLY WINDY! And umbrellas and wind do not mesh well together.

And by, "do not mesh well together," I mean, "do not mesh well at all."

I had this umbrella once, not anything great, but it was an umbrella, and it worked. I'd taken it up to school so that I could use it when I had to walk to class in the pouring rain. So it sat in my dorm room for a few months in the fall, until one day I decided to take it out. Here I am with my umbrella opened up, riding my bike back to my dorm from work, and all of a sudden, a gigantic gust of wind comes and turns my umbrella inside out! I struggled with it, trying to get it back to normal, but the spokes were already bent and broken and poking out in every direction.

So in the middle of the rainstorm, I had to put the umbrella down and try to stuff it in my backpack. Except putting a sopping wet umbrella that has spokes jutting out from it on every side in a backpack isn't really a smart idea. When I realized this, I decided to carry the umbrella the rest of the way home. And it was dripping on my foot every time I pedaled. But, I mean, since it was pouring down rain, those water droplets on my shoes didn't really matter much.

This was only one instance of umbrella madness. I have a feeling this happened to me once before this, but I don't remember the gory details. All I remember is wondering why I would want to tote an umbrella around if it's just going to break on me. I'd rather be soaking wet.

Umbrellas may work for Mary Poppins, but they sure as heck don't work for me.